The Works of Zachary Robert Long
The mystery genre can largely be divided into three categories: Who did it?, How do it?, and Why do it? Each category requires the author or filmmaker to hide certain information from the audience: Se7en (1995) hides the who but gives the how and why. In Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion (1970) we…
Bills Hicks had a bit about how he didn’t understand what people saw in the beach. It’s where water meets land. What’s so special about that? But he had a change of heart on the matter while dealing with the cancer that eventually killed him. I get that. I never really liked the beach when…
I don’t trust electric cars. And no, before you ask, it isn’t because of Musk and the endless litany of issues with Tesla. Fiat, Lotus, Hyundai, Kia, Volvo, Jeep, BMW, they’ve all got electric cars of their own. So ignore Tesla. They’re irrelevant. I’m not one of those people that think cleaner energy is the…
When Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl (2024) was released onto Netflix this January, my family had to watch. It had been nearly twenty years since the last Wallace and Gromit feature film had been released, and sixteen years since the last short. The movie was an absolute delight, very charming. But there was one…
I’m sitting in the pub listening to Mark’s inane chatter when they walk in. She’s dressed in a tight fitting tube-top that leaves nothing to the imagination, but with a body that makes you crave a little less candor. He’s wearing a suit that you just know has an Italian name with a reputation dip-shits…
“Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind” – Douglas MacArthur Grammar is the mortar of the English language we use when building meaning through the use of words, sentences, and paragraphs. For many people, it is such a powerful tool as to be…
The woods are darker now than they were this time last week. This disturbs her. Something she can’t quite put a finger on. The way it feels like every thing is always changing? Getting away from her? She wants it all to stay the same, her deepest wish is to freeze time. To hold her…
Mason needed it to rain. Okay, need was a bit of a strong word. He didn’t need it to rain. He wanted it to rain. Not one of those massive storms that sometimes hit Atlantic Canada and lasted all day and all night. No, what he needed was for it to piss down for an…
Charlie didn’t like it when the lights went out. The bed was warm and cozy, sure, but that was just because Mommy tucked the blankets tight around him every evening when she kissed him goodnight. He didn’t have a problem with that part. In fact, he quite enjoyed it. But then she would turn the…
Samantha is going to fucking kill me, Chloe thought as she stared into the gaping hole beneath the sink. “It was just the pipes,” she whispered. “It had to be the pipes.” But she knew that wasn’t true. The pipes made tons of noise, but they never sounded like a meow before. She’d been in…